TATTLE, VALENTINE, SCANDAL, ANGELICA.
ANG. You can't accuse me of inconstancy; I never told you that I loved you.
VAL. But I can accuse you of uncertainty, for not telling me whether you did or not.
ANG. You mistake indifference for uncertainty; I never had concern enough to ask myself the question.
SCAN. Nor good-nature enough to answer him that did ask you; I'll say that for you, madam.
ANG. What, are you setting up for good-nature?
SCAN. Only for the affectation of it, as the women do for ill- nature.
ANG. Persuade your friend that it is all affectation.
SCAN. I shall receive no benefit from the opinion; for I know no effectual difference between continued affectation and reality.
TATT. [coming up]. Scandal, are you in private discourse?
Anything of secrecy? [Aside to SCANDAL.]
SCAN. Yes, but I dare trust you; we were talking of Angelica's love to Valentine. You won't speak of it.
TATT. No, no, not a syllable. I know that's a secret, for it's whispered everywhere.
SCAN. Ha, ha, ha!
ANG. What is, Mr Tattle? I heard you say something was whispered everywhere.
SCAN. Your love of Valentine.
ANG. How!
TATT. No, madam, his love for your ladyship. Gad take me, I beg your pardon,--for I never heard a word of your ladyship's passion till this instant.
ANG. My passion! And who told you of my passion, pray sir?
SCAN. Why, is the devil in you? Did not I tell it you for a secret?
TATT. Gadso; but I thought she might have been trusted with her own affairs.
SCAN. Is that your discretion? Trust a woman with herself?
TATT. You say true, I beg your pardon. I'll bring all off. It was impossible, madam, for me to imagine that a person of your ladyship's wit and gallantry could have so long received the passionate addresses of the accomplished Valentine, and yet remain insensible; therefore you will pardon me, if, from a just weight of his merit, with your ladyship's good judgment, I formed the balance of a reciprocal affection.
VAL. O the devil, what damned costive poet has given thee this lesson of fustian to get by rote?
ANG. I dare swear you wrong him, it is his own. And Mr Tattle only judges of the success of others, from the effects of his own merit.
For certainly Mr Tattle was never denied anything in his life.
TATT. O Lord! Yes, indeed, madam, several times.
ANG. I swear I don't think 'tis possible.
TATT. Yes, I vow and swear I have; Lord, madam, I'm the most unfortunate man in the world, and the most cruelly used by the ladies.
ANG. Nay, now you're ungrateful.
TATT. No, I hope not, 'tis as much ingratitude to own some favours as to conceal others.
VAL. There, now it's out.
ANG. I don't understand you now. I thought you had never asked anything but what a lady might modestly grant, and you confess.
SCAN. So faith, your business is done here; now you may go brag somewhere else.
TATT. Brag! O heavens! Why, did I name anybody?
ANG. No; I suppose that is not in your power; but you would if you could, no doubt on't.
TATT. Not in my power, madam! What, does your ladyship mean that I have no woman's reputation in my power?
SCAN. 'Oons, why, you won't own it, will you? [Aside.]
TATT. Faith, madam, you're in the right; no more I have, as I hope to be saved; I never had it in my power to say anything to a lady's prejudice in my life. For as I was telling you, madam, I have been the most unsuccessful creature living, in things of that nature; and never had the good fortune to be trusted once with a lady's secret, not once.
ANG. No?
VAL. Not once, I dare answer for him.
SCAN. And I'll answer for him; for I'm sure if he had, he would have told me; I find, madam, you don't know Mr Tattle.
TATT. No indeed, madam, you don't know me at all, I find. For sure my intimate friends would have known -
ANG. Then it seems you would have told, if you had been trusted.
