登陆注册
5254900000147

第147章 CHAPTER XXXVII. FANNY VON ARNSTEIN.(2)

"You see that want of acquaintance was not the only reason," he said, with a bitter smile, "for now, I believe, you know me, and yet you do not love me. But let us speak of what brought me here to-day--of the past. You know that, before our marriage, you afforded me the happiness of a long and confidential interview, that you permitted me to look down into the depths of your pure and noble soul, that you unveiled to me your innocent heart, that did not yet exhibit either scars or wounds, nor even an image, a souvenir, and allowed me to be your brother and your friend, as you would not accept me as a lover and husband. Before the world, however, I became your husband, and took you to Vienna, to my house, of which you were to be the mistress and queen. The whole house was gayly decorated, and all the rooms were opened, for your arrival was to be celebrated by a ball. Only one door was locked; it was the door of this cabinet. I conducted you hither and said to you, 'This is your sanctuary, and no one shall enter it without your permission. In this boudoir you are not the Baroness Arnstein, not my wife; but here you are Fanny Itzig, the free and unshackled young girl, who is mistress of her will and affections. I shall never dare myself, without being expressly authorized by you, to enter this room; and when I shall be allowed to do so, I shall only come as a cavalier, who has the honor to pay a polite visit to a beautiful lady, to whom he is not connected in any manner whatever. Before the world I am your husband, but not in this room. Hence I shall never permit myself to ask what you are doing in this room, whom you are receiving here; for here you are only responsible to God and yourself.' Do you now remember that I said this to you at that time?"

"I do."

"I told you further that I begged you to continue with me one day here in this room the confidential conversation which we held before our marriage. I begged you to fix a period of five years for this purpose and, during this time, to examine your heart and to see whether life at my side was at least a tolerable burden, or whether you wished to shake it off. I asked you to promise me that I might enter this room on the fifth anniversary of our wedding-day, for the purpose of settling then with you our future mode of living. You were kind enough to grant my prayer, and to promise what I asked. Do you remember it?"

"I do," said Fanny, blushing; "I must confess, however, that I did not regard those words in so grave a light as to consider them as a formal obligation on your part. You would have been every day a welcome guest in this room, and it was unnecessary for you to wait for a particular day in accordance with an agreement made five years ago."

"Your answer is an evasive one," said the baron, sadly. "I implore you, let us now again speak as frankly and honestly as we did five years ago to-day! Will you grant my prayer?"

"I will," replied Fanny, eagerly; "and I am going to prove immediately that I am in earnest. You alluded a few minutes ago to our past, and asked me wonderingly if I had forgotten that interview on our wedding-day. I remember it so well, however, that I must direct your attention to the fact that you have forgotten the principal portion of what we said to each other at that time, or rather that, in your generous delicacy, and with that magnanimous kindness which you alone may boast of, you have intentionally omitted that portion of it. You remembered that I told you I did not love you, but you forgot that you then asked me if I loved another man. I replied to you that I loved no one, and never shall I forget the mournful voice in which you then said, 'It is by far easier to marry with a cold heart than to do so with a broken heart; for the cold heart may grow warm, but the broken heart--never!' Oh, do not excuse yourself," she continued, with greater warmth; "do not take me for so conceited and narrow-minded a being that I should have regarded those words of yours as an insult offered to me! It was, at the best, but a pang that I felt."

"A pang?" asked the baron, in surprise; and he fixed his dark eyes, with a wondrously impassioned expression, on the face of his beautiful wife.

"Yes, I felt a pang," she exclaimed, vividly, "for, on hearing your words, which evidently issued from the depths of your soul, on witnessing your unaffected and passionate grief, your courageous self-abnegation, I felt that your heart had received a wound which never would close again, and that you never would faithlessly turn from your first love to a second one."

"Oh, my God," murmured the baron, and he averted his face in order not to let her see the blush suddenly mantling it.

Fanny did not notice it, and continued: "But this dead love of yours laid itself like the cold hand of a corpse upon my breast and doomed it to everlasting coldness. With the consciousness that you never would love me, I had to cease striving for it, and give up the hope of seeing, perhaps, one day my heart awake in love for you, and the wondrous flower of a tenderness after marriage unfold itself, the gradual budding of which had been denied to us by the arbitrary action of our parents, who had not consulted our wishes, but only our fortunes. I became your wife with the full conviction that I should have to lead a life cold, dreary, and devoid of love, and that I could not be for you but an everlasting burden, a chain, an obstacle. My pride, that was revolting against it, told me that I should be able to bear this life in a dignified manner, but that I never ought to make even an attempt to break through this barrier which your love for another had erected between us, and which you tried to raise as high as possible."

"I!" exclaimed the baron, sadly.

同类推荐
  • 答茅鹿门知县二

    答茅鹿门知县二

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 无上妙道文始真经

    无上妙道文始真经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 苏州竹庵衍禅师语录

    苏州竹庵衍禅师语录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 勅修百丈清规

    勅修百丈清规

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • The Devil's Paw

    The Devil's Paw

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 世界最具财富性的企业精英(5)

    世界最具财富性的企业精英(5)

    我的课外第一本书——震撼心灵阅读之旅经典文库,《阅读文库》编委会编。通过各种形式的故事和语言,讲述我们在成长中需要的知识。
  • 兵书峡

    兵书峡

    前文陶元曜、蒲漪、娄公明、寇公遐、李镇川、马玄子诸老,以及由金华北山得信赶来的诸平、叶神翁、王鹿子、司空晓星等先后二十来位老前辈,在黄山始信、天都两峰,与一班凶憎、恶道相持恶斗了三日。黑摩勒、江明、童兴同了玄莹大师的门人玄玉、清缘,同往铁船头山峡之内,除了三条最恶毒的虫蛇和猛禽犬骛,也随后赶来。申林早奉师命在鳌鱼口接应,一见五人赶到,忙即唤住。由口旁山洞秘径中引了进去。先到始信峰下洞,再往峰顶拜见各位师长,随在洞中住下,每日同出观战。众男女小侠初次见到这大场面,又见自己这面连占上风,全都兴高采烈,得意非常。
  • 妃常非凡:皇后不易追

    妃常非凡:皇后不易追

    【蓬莱岛原创社团出品】“别扯那么远,谁能确定你会活到那一天!”如烟将他全身上下都扫视一遍。“你有必要舌头这么毒吗?”炎恒看着如此良辰美景,能和心中的她一同欣赏,这是多么美好的事啊!“我舌头毒不毒你都知道,你尝过啊?”炎恒满脸黑线,一把将她拉到怀里,霸道的说:“以后,你的一切只能是我的!”“拜托!我是我自己的,好不好?”如烟推开他,转身懒得看他。炎恒怀疑自己是不是有问题,怎么会爱上这个毒舌女?谁也没留意如烟的嘴角挂着一抹微笑
  • 佛说罪福报应经

    佛说罪福报应经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 温馨祝词

    温馨祝词

    这些名言警句句句经典,字字珠玑,精辟睿智,闪耀着智慧的光芒和精神的力量,具有很强的鼓舞性、哲理性和启迪性。具有成功心理暗示和潜在力量开发的功能,不仅可以成为我们的座右铭,还能增进自律的能力。
  • 乌合之众:大众心理研究

    乌合之众:大众心理研究

    《乌合之众:大众心理研究》是一本通俗的群体心理学知识读物,致力于用明白晓畅、通俗易懂的语言为读者讲述群体心理学知识,满足读者们对群体心理的好奇心,帮助读者们洞察、了解群体心理,进而从中获得领导群体或摆脱群体心理控制的启示。
  • 中国传统文化中的14堂心灵修行课

    中国传统文化中的14堂心灵修行课

    戏曲、中医、文字、书法、诗词文赋、香茗、俗词俚语……悠悠千载,中国文化莫不徜徉在易儒释道的玄妙境界里,诉说着千载岁月中的至情至景至人,追寻着至真至纯至美的心灵胜境。在字里行间感知人生欢喜,在烦扰的尘世间修得一颗清净空灵之心,饮足幸福之泉,畅然游于红尘俗世间。
  • 珞珈谪仙记

    珞珈谪仙记

    这里是仙侠世界中的“珞珈界”。工学部主教变成通天高楼;网球场变成龙腾云海;鲲鹏广场云抟九万;樱花大道花开千里;鉴海烟波无极;珞樱大帝在珞珈山悟道成圣,于樱花城堡建立珞樱帝国……将珞珈山下的世界变成一片神仙浩土,其中人往来修道,斩妖除魔,生死轮回……歌曰:“天地泰,日月长。珞珈界,图自强。南北东西,樱花无量。乾坤上下,万道争光。黄鹄一举兮,知山川之纡曲。息焉游焉,亿兆莫疆。再举兮,知天地之圆方。藏焉修焉,同于阴阳。念茫茫宙合,悠悠文物。鸡鸣风雨,日就月将。游心太玄兮,踏浪溟沧。明明德兮,履道皇皇。大道兮无亲,珞珈兮永昌。”
  • 盛宠毒妃

    盛宠毒妃

    她为复仇而来,真相却无法接受!长痛不如短痛,她亲手手刃至爱之人,才发现,一切的一切只是一个更大的阴谋!
  • 一顾半夏:与你时光予你情深

    一顾半夏:与你时光予你情深

    一次意外,她遇到纨绔不羁风流花心的集团继承人,本以为误上贼船,结果......他护她如宝,将她宠上天,她渐渐被这个不羁的男人吸引,然而就在她要倾心相对时,突然发现,自己原来只是对方赎罪的工具.....