The train was to leave at twelve noon sharp.It was now ten minutes after twelve.I could be at the station in ten minutes.I saw I had no great amount of leeway，for this was the lightning express，and on the Continent the lightning expresses are pretty fastidious about getting away some time during the advertised day.My people were the only ones remaining in the waiting-room；everybody else had passed through and “mounted the train，”as they say in those regions.They were exhausted with nervousness and fret，but I comforted them and heartened them up，and we made our rush.
But no；we were out of luck again.The doorkeeper was not satisfied with the tickets.He examined them cautiously，deliberately，suspiciously；then glared at me awhile，and after that he called another official.The two examined the tickets and called another official.These called others，and the convention discussed and discussed，and gesticulated and carried on，until I begged that they would consider how time was flying，and just pass a few resolutions and let us go.Then they said very courteously that there was a defect in the tickets，and asked me where I got them.
I judged I saw what the trouble was now.You see，I had bought the tickets in a cigar shop，and，of course，the tobacco smell was on them；without doubt，the thing they were up to was to work the tickets through the Custom House and to collect duty on that smell.So I resolved to be perfectly frank；it is sometimes the best way.I said:
“Gentlemen，I will not deceive you.These railway tickets—”
“Ah，pardon，monsieur!These are not railway tickets.”
“Oh，”I said，“is that the defect？”
“Ah，truly yes，monsieur.These are lottery tickets，yes；and it is a lottery which has been drawn two years ago.”
I affected to be greatly amused；it is all one can do in such circumstances；it is all one can do，and yet there is no value in it；it deceives nobody，and you can see that everybody around pities you and is ashamed of you.One of the hardest situations in life，I think，is to be full of grief and a sense of defeat and shabbiness that way，and yet have to put on an outside of archness and gaiety，while all the time you know that your own Expedition，the treasures of your heart，and whose love and reverence you are by the custom of our civilization entitled to，are being consumed with humiliation before strangers to see you earning and getting a compassion which is a stigma，a brand—a brand which certifies you to be—oh，anything and everything which is fatal to human respect.
I said，cheerily，it was all right，just one of those little accidents that was likely to happen to anybody—I would have the right tickets in two minutes，and we would catch the train yet，and，moreover，have something to laugh about all through the journey.I did get the tickets in time，all stamped and complete，but then it turned out that I couldn't take them，because in taking so much pains about the two missing members I had skipped the bank and hadn't the money.So then the train left，and there didn't seem to be anything to do but go back to the hotel，which we did；but it was kind of melancholy and not much said.I tried to start a few subjects，like scenery and transubstantiation，and those sorts of things，but they didn't seem to hit the weather right.
