SYDNEY CARTON
At the farm-house where the party were to dine, Miss Pratt with joy discovered a harmonium in the parlor, and, seating herself, with all the girls, Flopit, and Mr.George Crooper gathered around her, she played an accompaniment, while George, in a thin tenor of detestable sweetness, sang ``I'm Falling in Love with Some One.''
His performance was rapturously greeted, especially by the accompanist.``Oh, wunnerfulest Untle Georgiecums!'' she cried, for that was now the gentleman's name.``If Johnnie McCormack hear Untle Georgiecums he go shoot umself dead--Bang!'' She looked round to where three figures hovered morosely in the rear.``Tum on, sin'
chorus, Big Bruvva Josie-Joe, Johnny Jump-up, an' Ickle Boy Baxter.All over adain, Untle Georgiecums! Boys an' dirls all sin' chorus.
Tummence!''
And so the heartrending performance continued until it was stopped by Wallace Banks, the altruistic and perspiring youth who had charge of the subscription-list for the party, and the consequent collection of assessments.This entitled Wallace to look haggard and to act as master of ceremonies.He mounted a chair.
``Ladies and gentlemen,'' he bellowed, ``I want to say--that is--ah--I am requested to announce t that before dinner we're all supposed to take a walk around the farm and look at things, as this is supposed to be kind of a model farm or supposed to be something like that.There's a Swedish lady named Anna going to show us around.She's out in the yard waiting, so please follow her to inspect the farm.''
To inspect a farm was probably the least of William's desires.He wished only to die in some quiet spot and to have Miss Pratt told about it in words that would show her what she had thrown away.But he followed with the others, in the wake of the Swedish lady named Anna, and as they stood in the cavernous hollow of the great barn he found his condition suddenly improved.
Miss Pratt turned to him unexpectedly and placed Flopit in his arms.``Keep p'eshus Flopit cozy,'' she whispered.``Flopit love ole friends best!''
William's heart leaped, while a joyous warmth spread all over him.And though the execrable lummox immediately propelled Miss Pratt forward--by her elbow--to hear the descriptive remarks of the Swedish lady named Anna, William's soul remained uplifted and entranced.She had not said ``like''; she had said, ``Flopit LOVE
ole friends best''! William pressed forward valiantly, and placed himself as close as possible upon the right of Miss Pratt, the lummox being upon her left.A moment later, William wished that he had remained in the rear.
This was due to the unnecessary frankness of the Swedish lady named Anna, who was briefly pointing out the efficiency of various agricultural devices.Her attention being diverted by some effusions of pride on the part of a passing hen, she thought fit to laugh and say:
``She yust laid egg.''
William shuddered.This grossness in the presence of Miss Pratt was unthinkable.His mind refused to deal with so impossible a situation; he could not accept it as a fact that such words had actually been uttered in such a presence.And yet it was the truth; his incredulous ears still sizzled.``She yust laid egg!'' His entire skin became flushed; his averted eyes glazed themselves with shame.
He was not the only person shocked by the ribaldry of the Swedish lady named Anna.Joe Bullitt and Johnnie Watson, on the outskirts of the group, went to Wallace Banks, drew him aside, and, with feverish eloquence, set his responsibilities before him.It was his duty, they urged, to have an immediate interview with this free-spoken Anna and instruct her in the proprieties.
Wallace had been almost as horrified as they by her loose remark, but he declined the office they proposed for him, offering, however, to appoint them as a committee with authority in the matter--whereupon they retorted with unreasonable indignation, demanding to know what he took them for.
Unconscious of the embarrassment she had caused in these several masculine minds, the Swedish lady named Anna led the party onward, continuing her agricultural lecture.William walked mechanically, his eyes averted and looking at no one.And throughout this agony he was burningly conscious of the blasphemed presence of Miss Pratt beside him.
Therefore, it was with no little surprise, when the party came out of the barn, that William beheld Miss Pratt, not walking at his side, but on the contrary, sitting too cozily with George Crooper upon a fallen tree at the edge of a peach-
orchard just beyond the barn-yard.It was Miss Parcher who had been walking beside him, for the truant couple had made their escape at the beginning of the Swedish lady's discourse.
In vain William murmured to himself, ``Flopit love ole friends best.'' Purple and black again descended upon his soul, for he could not disguise from himself the damnatory fact that George had flitted with the lady, while he, wretched William, had been permitted to take care of the dog!
