There appears nothing very tremendous in this little sentence, "Upon my word, sir," when it comes to be read; but the tone of voice in which it was delivered, and the look that accompanied it, both seeming to bear reference to some revenge to be thereafter visited upon the head of Pott, produced their full effect upon him.The most unskilful observer could have detected in his troubled countenance, a readiness to resign his Wellington boots to any efficient substitute who would have consented to stand in them at that moment.
Mrs.Pott read the paragraph, uttered a loud shriek, and threw herself at full length on the hearth-rug, screaming, and tapping it with the heels of her shoes, in a manner which could leave no doubt of the propriety of her feelings on the occasion.
"My dear," said the petrified Pott,--"I didn't say I believed it;--I--"but the unfortunate man's voice was drowned in the screaming of his partner.
"Mrs.Pott, let me entreat you, my dear ma'am, to compose yourself,"said Mr.Winkle; but the shrieks and tappings were louder, and more frequent than ever.
"My dear," said Mr.Pott, "I'm very sorry.If you won't consider your own health, consider me, my dear.We shall have a crowd round the house."But the more strenuously Mr.Pott entreated, the more vehemently the screams poured forth.
Very fortunately, however, attached to Mrs.Pott's person was a body-guard of one, a young lady whose ostensible employment was to preside over her toilet, but who rendered herself useful in a variety of ways, and in none more so than in the particular department of constantly aiding and abetting her mistress in every wish and inclination opposed to the desires of the unhappy Pott.The screams reached this young lady's ears in due course, and brought her into the room with a speed which threatened to derange, materially, the very exquisite arrangement of her cap and ringlets.
"Oh, my dear, dear mistress!" exclaimed the body-guard, kneeling frantically by the side of the prostrate Mrs.Pott."Oh, my dear mistress, what is the matter?""Your master--your brutal master," murmured the patient.
Pott was evidently giving way.
"It's a shame," said the body-guard, reproachfully."I know he'll be the death of you, ma'am.Poor dear thing!"He gave way more.The opposite party followed up the attack.
"Oh don't leave me--don't leave me, Goodwin," murmured Mrs.Pott, clutching at the wrist of the said Goodwin with an hysteric jerk."You're the only person that's kind to me, Goodwin."At this affecting appeal, Goodwin got up a little domestic tragedy of her own, and shed tears copiously.
"Never, ma'am--never," said Goodwin."Oh, sir, you should be careful--you should indeed; you don't know what harm you may do missis; you'll be sorry for it one day, I know--I've always said so."The unlucky Pott looked timidly on, but said nothing.
"Goodwin," said Mrs.Pott, in a soft voice.
"Ma'am," said Goodwin.
"If you only knew how I have loved that man--""Don't distress yourself by recollecting it, ma'am," said the body-guard.
Pott looked very frightened.It was time to finish him.
"And now," sobbed Mrs.Pott, "now, after all, to be treated in this way; to be reproached and insulted in the presence of a third party, and that party almost a stranger.But I will not submit to it! Goodwin," continued Mrs.Pott, raising herself in the arms of her attendant, "my brother, the Lieutenant, shall interfere.I'll be separated, Goodwin!""It would certainly serve him right, ma'am," said Goodwin.
Whatever thoughts the threat of a separation might have awakened in Mr.Pott's mind, he forbore to give utterance to them, and contented himself by saying, with great humility:
"My dear, will you hear me?"
A fresh train of sobs was the only reply, as Mrs.Pott grew more hysterical, requested to be informed why she was ever born, and required sundry other pieces of information of a similar description.
"My dear," remonstrated Mr.Pott, "do not give way to these sensitive feelings.I never believed that the paragraph had any foundation, my dear--impossible.
I was only angry, my dear--I may say outrageous--with the Independent people for daring to insert it; that's all:" Mr.Pott cast an imploring look at the innocent cause of the mischief, as if to entreat him to say nothing about the serpent.
"And what steps, sir, do you mean to take to obtain redress?" inquired Mr.Winkle, gaining courage as he saw Pott losing it.
"Oh, Goodwin," observed Mrs.Pott, "does he mean to horsewhip the editor of the Independent--does he, Goodwin?""Hush, hush, ma'am; pray keep yourself quiet," replied the body-guard.
"I daresay he will, if you wish it, ma'am.""Certainly," said Pott, as his wife evinced decided symptoms of going off again."Of course I shall.""When, Goodwin--when?" said Mrs.Pott, still undecided about the going off.
"Immediately, of course," said Mr.Pott; "before the day is out.""Oh, Goodwin," resumed Mrs.Pott, "it's the only way of meeting the slander, and setting me right with the world.""Certainly, ma'am," replied Goodwin."No man as is a man, ma'am, could refuse to do it."So, as the hysterics were still hovering about, Mr.Pott said once more that he would do it; but Mrs.Pott was so overcome at the bare idea of having ever been suspected, that she was half-a-dozen times on the very verge of a relapse, and most unquestionably would have gone off, had it not been for the indefatigable efforts of the assiduous Goodwin, and repeated entreaties for pardon from the conquered Pott; and finally, when that unhappy individual had been frightened and snubbed down to his proper level, Mrs.
Pott recovered, and they went to breakfast.
"You will not allow this base newspaper slander to shorten your stay here, Mr.Winkle?" said Mrs.Pott, smiling through the traces of her tears.
