"Yes, sir, it was," replied Slurk; "and blue bore , sir, if you like that better; ha! ha!"Mr.Pott retorted not a word to this jocose insult, but deliberately folded up his copy of the Independent, flattened it carefully down, crushed it beneath his boot, spat upon it with great ceremony, and flung it into the fire.
"There, sir," said Pott, retreating from the stove, "and that's the way I would serve the viper who produces it, if I were not, fortunately for him, restrained by the laws of my country.""Serve him so, sir!" cried Slurk, starting up."Those laws shall never be appealed to by him, sir, in such a case.Serve him so, sir!""Hear! hear!" said Bob Sawyer.
"Nothing can be fairer," observed Mr.Ben Allen.
"Serve him so, sir!" reiterated Slurk, in a loud voice.
Mr.Pott darted a look of contempt, which might have withered an anchor.
"Serve him so, sir!" reiterated Slurk, in a louder voice than before.
"I will not, sir," rejoined Pott.
"Oh, you won't, you, sir?" said Mr.Slurk, in a taunting manner; "you hear this, gentlemen! He won't; not that he's afraid; oh, no! he won't.
Ha! ha!"
"I consider you, sir," said Mr.Pott, moved by this sarcasm, "I consider you a viper.I look upon you, sir, as a man who has placed himself beyond the pale of society, by his most audacious, disgraceful, and abominable public conduct.I view you, sir, personally and politically, in no other light than as a most unparalleled and unmitigated viper."The indignant Independent did not wait to hear the end of this personal denunciation; for, catching up his carpetbag, which was well stuffed with movables, he swung it in the air as Pott turned away, and, letting it fall with a circular sweep on his head, just at that particular angle of the bag where a good thick hair-brush happened to be packed, caused a sharp crash to be heard throughout the kitchen, and brought him at once to the ground.
"Gentlemen," cried Mr.Pickwick, as Pott started up and seized the fire-shovel, "gentlemen! Consider, for Heaven's sake--help--Sam--here--pray, gentlemen--interfere, somebody."Uttering these incoherent exclamations, Mr.Pickwick rushed between the infuriated combatants just in time to receive the carpet-bag on one side of his body, and the fireshovel on the other.Whether the representatives of the public feeling of Eatanswill were blinded by animosity, or (being both acute reasoners) saw the advantage of having a third party between them to bear all the blows, certain it is that they paid not the slightest attention to Mr.Pickwick, but defying each other with great spirit plied the carpet-bag and the fire-shovel most fearlessly.Mr.Pickwick would unquestionably have suffered severely for his humane interference, if Mr.
Weller, attracted by his master's cries, had not rushed in at the moment, and, snatching up a meal-sack, effectually stopped the conflict by drawing it over the head and shoulders of the mighty Pott, and clasping him tight round the shoulders.
"Take avay that 'ere bag from the t'other madman," said Sam to Ben Allen and Bob Sawyer, who had done nothing but dodge round the group, each with a tortoise-shell lancet in his hand, ready to bleed the first man stunned.
"Give it up, you wretched little creetur, or I'll smother you in it."Awed by these threats, and quite out of breath, the Independent suffered himself to be disarmed; and Mr.Weller, removing the extinguisher from Pott, set him free with a caution.
"You take yourselves off to bed quietly," said Sam, "or I'll put you both in it, and let you fight it out vith the mouth tied, as I vould a dozen sich, if they played these games.And you have the goodness to come this here way, sir, if you please."Thus addressing his master, Sam took him by the arm, and led him off, while the rival editors were severally removed to their beds by the landlord, under the inspection of Mr.Bob Sawyer and Mr.Benjamin Allen; breathing, as they went away, many sanguinary threats, and making vague appointments for mortal combat next day.When they came to think it over, however, it occurred to them that they could do it much better in print, so they recommenced deadly hostilities without delay; and all Eatanswill rung with their boldness--on paper.
They had taken themselves off in separate coaches, early next morning, before the other travellers were stirring; and the weather having now cleared up, the chaise companions once more turned their faces to London.
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