登陆注册
5169600000013

第13章

ON SOME RESPECTABLE SNOBS

Having received a great deal of obloquy for dragging monarchs, princes, and the respected nobility into the Snob category, I trust to please everybody in the present chapter, by stating my firm opinion that it is among the RESPECTABLE classes of this vast and happy empire that the greatest profusion of Snobs is to be found.I pace down my beloved Baker Street, (I am engaged on a life of Baker, founder of this celebrated street,) I walk in Harley Street (where every other house has a hatchment), Wimpole Street, that is as cheerful as the Catacombs--a dingy Mausoleum of the genteel:--I rove round Regent's Park, where the plaster is patching off the house walls;where Methodist preachers are holding forth to three little children in the green inclosures, and puffy valetudinarians are cantering in the solitary mud:--Ithread the doubtful ZIG-ZAGS of May Fair, where Mrs.

Kitty Lorimer's Brougham may be seen drawn up next door to old Lady Lollipop's belozenged family coach;--I roam through Belgravia, that pale and polite district, where all the inhabitants look prim and correct, and the mansions are painted a faint whity-brown: I lose myself in the new squares and terraces of the brilliant bran-new Bayswater-and-Tyburn-Junction line; and in one and all of these districts the same truth comes across me.I stop before any house at hazard, and say, 'O house, you are inhabited--O knocker, you are knocked at--O undressed flunkey, sunning your lazy calves as you lean against the iron railings, you are paid--by Snobs.' It is a tremendous thought that; and it is almost sufficient to drive a benevolent mind to madness to think that perhaps there is not one in ten of those houses where the 'Peerage' does not lie on the drawing-room table.

Considering the harm that foolish lying book does, Iwould have all the copies of it burned, as the barber burned all Quixote's books of humbugging chivalry.

Look at this grand house in the middle of the square.

The Earl of Loughcorrib lives there: he has fifty thousand a year.A DEJEUNER DANSANT given at his house last week cost, who knows how much? The mere flowers for the room and bouquets for the ladies cost four hundred pounds.That man in drab trousers, coming crying down the stops, is a dun: Lord Loughcorrib has ruined him, and won't see him: that is his lordship peeping through the blind of his study at him now.Go thy ways, Loughcorrib, thou art a Snob, a heartless pretender, a hypocrite of hospitality; a rogue who passes forged notes upon society;--but I am growing too eloquent.

You see that nice house, No.23, where a butcher's boy is ringing the area-bell.He has three muttonchops in his tray.They are for the dinner of a very different and very respectable family; for Lady Susan Scraper, and her daughters, Miss Scraper and Miss Emily Scraper.The domestics, luckily for them, are on board wages--two huge footmen in light blue and canary, a fat steady coachman who is a Methodist, and a butler who would never have stayed in the family but that he was orderly to General Scraper when the General distinguished himself at Walcheren.His widow sent his portrait to the United Service Club, and it is hung up in one of the back dressing-closets there.He is represented at a parlour window with red curtains; in the distance is a whirlwind, in which cannon are firing off; and he is pointing to a chart, on which are written the words 'Walcheren, Tobago.'

同类推荐
  • Richard II

    Richard II

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 明夷待访录

    明夷待访录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 谢文庄公集

    谢文庄公集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 对酒示申屠学士

    对酒示申屠学士

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 前后七国志

    前后七国志

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 雇主大人,不要过来了!

    雇主大人,不要过来了!

    她的雇主大人总说:你个没用的东西。却又总是对她伸出援手。将她一直留在身边。 她的雇主大人总说:你不要爱上我。却又总是无意中做了太多让她动心的事。 很多人都说徐小需就是东方定养的一只小猫。独立乖巧不粘人。还有一点小脾气。从大学开始到工作,徐小需做了东方定四年的保姆,三年的秘书。她巧妙的隐藏着内心的爱意。小心翼翼想缩短彼此天地般的距离。 她发挥着自己将近两百的智商,在东方定每一步靠近里,争取着每一分可能。 可当别人走向他,如此天造地设的美景。让徐小需就此在爱里走投无路。 他却又找了过来。 “徐小需,饭做好了没?”东方定每日必来报道。 “雇主大人,你已经不是我雇主了!能不能不要再过来了!”
  • 浮城

    浮城

    小时,父母没空管千惠,把她扔回老家寡居多年的大姑家,他们或许以为这并不是麻烦她,而是对她的一种体恤。千惠在大姑那度过若干寒暑假,大姑喜欢给她梳头,配上各种廉价小发饰。每回接千惠回家,千惠妈都要抱怨大姑把千惠打扮得花里胡哨,像个“女雀子”。“女雀子”是当地骂人的话,形容女人花枝招展,不正经,妖。不幸的是,千惠12岁那年,千惠爸被一个“女雀子”勾引,且把命搭上了。千惠爸是单位司机,有次他约了个女人出去兜风,他们相好一段时日了。两人去了郊外,回程夜深,疲劳过头的千惠爸出了车祸。他的这个死因大大降低了妻子的悲痛,但激起了另一种耻辱。她本来常犯头晕,一下躺倒。
  • 北大“差”生

    北大“差”生

    成绩普通、发挥不稳定的周林林因高考超常发挥,进入了莘莘学子梦寐以求的北京大学。但因其能力有限,在光鲜亮丽的北大生存艰难,唯一愿望就是顺利毕业。开朗活泼却自卑的周林林面对众多天之骄子,投机取巧,又随波逐流,不明白生活的方向和目标在何处。入学时对经院师兄谢端西一见钟情,却无奈落花有意流水无情;新闻系红人文涛在和周林林的相处过程中,逐渐对其直白简单的性格倾心,表白后却遭到了周林林的拒绝;和周林林一起考入北大的老乡毒舌方予可从小暗恋她,在辅导她学习,帮助她生活的点点滴滴中,两人互见真情,最终相知相爱。
  • 锦绣满园:农妇生活攻略

    锦绣满园:农妇生活攻略

    【已完结】一朝穿越,醒来就被人说是死了,华丽丽的‘诈尸’,吓到了前来诊脉的‘山羊爷爷’。穿越到农村没有什么不好,都说庄户人家老实,各种淳朴,为毛我见到的却个个是极品?仗着自己是老大家的大伯父一家横行霸道。小姑就只是个说三道四的婆娘,颠倒是非的婆娘。罢了罢了,大不了找个男人嫁了,带着爹娘摆脱这糟心两家子。但是为什么好不容易遇到如意郎君,为毛又有两个极品小姑子?且看现代犀利女如何智斗极品带着全家发家致富!
  • 不为我们改变的世界

    不为我们改变的世界

    《不为我们改变的世界》由丁丁张、徐良、消失宾妮、这么远那么近、耀一、Ricas、沈嘉柯、柳焕杰等34位高人气作家联袂诚意写作,是2016反鸡汤励志的重磅之作,为你鲜血淋漓地解剖世界,让你重新思考生活。《不为我们改变的世界》全书主题鲜明,始终以“世界从不会因为每个人的悲欢离合而改变”为主线,34个穿透人心的故事,贯穿对人生、情感、社会的感悟,传递出强大的隐忍与坚强的力量。
  • 懦懦与霍先生

    懦懦与霍先生

    懦懦跑过了一整条街,在街的尽头,是一座很普通的建筑,但却带着一个巨大的喷水池和高高的台阶。她走到最后一个台阶上,看到霍煦伸出手对她说:“欢迎回来,懦懦。”
  • 北京绿卡(大结局)

    北京绿卡(大结局)

    尼可不知道,她的咒语还真的显灵,托尼的后院跳起了熊熊的火焰。托尼经常跟人聊,他的前世是在中国,弄得连不相信前世的人也相信了,是的,一个美国人,不远万里来到中国,学会了书法,学会了针灸,学会了《易经》,还能有板有眼唱京剧,字正腔圆,如果不是一张洋人的脸,还真有师傅收了他。亨特学中国传统文化,并不是为了今后的卖弄炫耀,他曾对尼可说过:“是一种心灵的需要。”莫非同时找两个女人也是心灵的需要?托尼一直以为,中国传统的大家庭和谐安详,妻妾虽然不能相敬如宾,也能相处无事。
  • 魅言鬼语

    魅言鬼语

    本书是多个中篇的合辑,告诉大家一个个鲜为人知的故事。或枉死,或被害,或复仇,或报恩,在死亡面前人性显得如此胆怯,我们其实都是一群鬼,一群戴着面具生活在阳光的鬼……rnrn
  • 我愿你想到我时没有忧愁

    我愿你想到我时没有忧愁

    本书属于当下市场热销的女性情感散文集。以一个成熟、知性又充满情怀的女性视角,用60余篇文章,叙写了对爱情、友情、亲情,对孤独、理想的感悟,并表达了对往昔与未来饱含释然与希望的随笔文集,是一本充满女性智慧、又有情怀并颇有小资情调的文集。
  • 南窗一梦春入画

    南窗一梦春入画

    穿越?而且还是个七岁黄毛丫头身上?没劲,天天吃喝玩乐像变个人似的,开心到飞起!可是已经玩了七八年了,什么事情都没有发生,最起码告诉我怎么回到属于我的世界吧!突然父亲大人说我有婚约?还是个将军?满心期待他归来能带给我乐趣,不曾想他竟然带回西域女子要娶她为妻?作为新时代女性我怎么能容忍三妻四妾?坚决不同意,不是你休我,是我要休了你!