ORGON, CLEANTE
CLEANTE Brother, she ridicules you to your face; And I, though I don't want to make you angry, Must tell you candidly that she's quite right.Was such infatuation ever heard of? And can a man to-day have charms to make you Forget all else, relieve his poverty, Give him a home, and then...?
ORGON Stop there, good brother, You do not know the man you're speaking of.
CLEANTE Since you will have it so, I do not know him; But after all, to tell what sort of man He is...
ORGON Dear brother, you'd be charmed to know him; Your raptures over him would have no end.He is a man...who...ah!...in fact...a man Whoever does his will, knows perfect peace, And counts the whole world else, as so much dung.His converse has transformed me quite; he weans My heart from every friendship, teaches me To have no love for anything on earth; And I could see my brother, children, mother, And wife, all die, and never care--a snap.
CLEANTE Your feelings are humane, I must say, brother!
ORGON Ah! If you'd seen him, as I saw him first, You would have loved him just as much as I.He came to church each day, with contrite mien, Kneeled, on both knees, right opposite my place, And drew the eyes of all the congregation, To watch the fervour of his prayers to heaven; With deep-drawn sighs and great ejaculations, He humbly kissed the earth at every moment; And when I left the church, he ran before me To give me holy water at the door.I learned his poverty, and who he was, By questioning his servant, who is like him, And gave him gifts; but in his modesty He always wanted to return a part."It is too much," he'd say, "too much by half; I am not worthy of your pity." Then, When I refused to take it back, he'd go, Before my eyes, and give it to the poor.At length heaven bade me take him to my home, And since that day, all seems to prosper here.He censures everything, and for my sake He even takes great interest in my wife; He lets me know who ogles her, and seems Six times as jealous as I am myself.You'd not believe how far his zeal can go: He callshimself a sinner just for trifles; The merest nothing is enough to shock him; So much so, that the other day I heard him Accuse himself for having, while at prayer, In too much anger caught and killed a flea.
CLEANTE Zounds, brother, you are mad, I think! Or else You're making sport of me, with such a speech.What are you driving at with all this nonsense...?
ORGON Brother, your language smacks of atheism; And I suspect your soul's a little tainted Therewith.I've preached to you a score of times That you'll draw down some judgment on your head.
